If December’s relentless cheer feels more like a corporate mandate than a season of joy, F Christmas may be your antidote. Directed by the ever-inventive Susie Dee (RUNT) and co-created with Bec Matthews and Sarah Ward (Yana Alana) from Melbourne’s queer powerhouse Fat Fruit, this irreverent romp through holiday traditions is the three Ss (no, none of them Santa): sentimental, silly and sincere. It’s one f of a wild sleigh ride.
In a year burdened by relentless political turmoil, ecological disasters and the raging capitalist machine, F Christmas sets its sights on the contradictions of the holiday season. Christmas, with its glittering promises of togetherness, has long been a paradox: a celebration of inclusion that can be painfully exclusive, particularly to those outside the narrow lens of its traditions. White Christmas, indeed. Dee and Matthews don’t jam this down your throat though (unless we’re talkin’ swords and eggnog); they slip it in between comedy routines, jolty acrobatics and anarchic punk-rock numbers.Â
The show is structured around a parody of Australia’s Carols by Candlelight, an advertising circus replete with dancing turkeys, ‘his and hers’ gift cards (yes, these really exist) and a slew of glitzy sponsorships –from JB Hi-Fi to Hairhouse Warehouse. It’s a deliciously chaotic send-up of our consumerist Christmas rituals, grounded by the sharp performances of Sarah Ward (back after missing the opening shows) as Geraldine, and Filipino-Australian John Marc Desengano as her hapless co-host Andrew. This dynamic connects the audience and keeps the show from spinning into absolute mayhem.
Speaking of delightful mayhem, this cast is a whirlwind of talent and energy. Ward hits us with powerhouse vocals, belting and bantering their way through with commanding ease. Nicci Wilks (Bad Boy) shows her range, leaping from punk anthems to comedy, while Dale Woodbridge-Brown is a revelation of timing and slapstick prowess. Gabi Barton’s choreography is electric – smooth, frenetic and unapologetically queer. Then there’s Seth Sladen, a circus performer who morphs from a PVC-clad nightmare elf into a crumping automaton with gleeful menace.
In true Dee fashion, F Christmas doesn’t shy away from theatricality. Romanie Harper’s set design is a gaudy Christmas wonderland, part giant gift box, part fever dream. Monique Aucher’s lighting bathes the stage in ominous reds while Matthews’ live band punctuates the chaos with a soundtrack that swings from campy Christmas jingles to blistering punk.
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While some transitions between scenes could be tighter and a few jokes could use polishing, F Christmas ensures every stage moment counts. Whether it’s a polar bear being dragged across the stage as a biting nod to climate change, a poignant song for the children of war or a fiery anthem about consent, the show always manages to say something. This balance of madcap humour and thoughtful critique makes F Christmas more than a holiday satire – it’s a celebration of the messy, chaotic humanity at its heart.
Here’s hoping Geraldine returns next year to lead the charge. Some traditions are worth keeping.
F Christmas
Malthouse Theatre
Lead writer and performer: Sarah Ward
Co-creator and director: Susie Dee
Co-creator, musical director, performer and sound designer: Bec Matthews
Co-creator, ensemble choreographer and performer: Gabi Barton
Co-creators/Performers: John Marc Desengano, Joh Fairley, Jess Love, Wai-Zea Man, Seth Sladen, Nicci Wilks, Dale Woodbridge-Brown
Standby performer: Milo Hartill
Designer: Romanie Harper
Lighting Designer: Monique Aucher
Video Producer: Chris Bennett
Assistant Stage Manager: Rosemary Osmond
Rigger: Franca Stadler
Tickets: $35-$69
F Christmas will be performed until 15 December 2024.
