Readers are advised that the follow review contains references to sexual assault and rape.
Caroline Darian’s self-described ‘banal’ life becomes international news in her non-fictional account of chemical submission, I’ll Never Call Him Dad Again. Darian’s father, Dominique Pelicot, is arrested in a supermarket trying to film up the skirts of three women. As the investigation unfolds, the allegations become increasingly disturbing. For at least nine years, Pelicot had been drugging his wife, Gisèle, so that he could film random men raping her.
The crimes – involving around 80 perpetrators – were organised online. Pelicot never accepted money from the men, although he did have conditions. He didn’t want them to use condoms; and he wanted to film everything. The constant chemical submission and unprotected sex led his wife to have baffling symptoms: bleeding, pain, confusion, forgetfulness. Pelicot was practised at dismissing any concerns his adult children brought up about Gisèle’s health. And nobody could have possibly suspected the true cause of her ailments.
I’ll Never Call Him Dad Again traces the year of investigations from Darian’s perspective, as more and more horrific facts about the case unfurl. She confronts her own victimisation and describes the scars and divisions left on and in her family in the wake of the devastating discovery. She is forced to reflect on her father’s erratic behaviour, even before the crimes are believed to have begun. She’s also forced to reframe tender, loving moments as falsehoods. As she processes the grief and anger, each passing month “revealed not only new horrors, but also a timeline of crimes that stretched further into the past”.
It is a traumatic nightmare. One that is instructive on several important fronts. Darian describes chemical submission – forcible drugging – as a “public health issue”, advocating for greater recognition of the signs. Speaking out against abuse is always difficult, but even more so if you have no awareness of what has happened to you in the first place. This is why, Darian argues, it is important for family members and medical professionals to interpret inexplicable health problems as a possible sign of abuse.
Darian also discusses the fallout of being at the centre of an unthinkable crime such as this. Upon hearing the news from police, she suffers emotional shock, but there was no accessible psychological care for her. Her condition escalates, leading to a psychiatric hospital stay where she is given sedatives, a particularly re-traumatising choice for someone who has experienced chemical submission. Moreover, the public dissection of the lives of victims in the surrounding media attracted to the case felt invasive and irresponsible. Darian calls on all of us to remember the humans behind the headlines.
This case has recently made headlines again with Pelicot’s trial and conviction taking place late last year. This book, originally published in French in 2022, does not cover the most recent developments. As a result, it feels truncated.
But, although Darian’s perspective of the trial would bring even greater insight into navigating the justice system while coping with revelations of extreme abuse, the full story is not owed to us. I’ll Never Call Him Dad Again is challenging and insightful, and Darian has already been generous in offering it.
I’ll Never Call Him Dad Again: Turning our family trauma of chemical submission into a collective fight, Caroline Darian
Publisher: Allen & Unwin (Bonnier)
ISBN: 9781785125980
Format: Paperback
Pages: 224pp
Publication: 14 January 2025
RRP: $32.99
