If You Go follows Esther, a woman who has woken up in a strange and unfamiliar room, and flickers between that sci-fi present and the memories of her tumultuous life. All she has in this bedridden state are her memories, and it is those recollections that give Esther the strength, despite her grief, to propel herself forward.
The best executed aspect of the story – other than the tremendous quality of the writing itself – is the foreshadowing. There is never an “Aha!” moment, revelations are as gentle to the reader as they are to Esther, but the inkling of knowing is enough to make us care for her just that little bit more.
The plot’s crux is Esther’s life with her children as a single mother and her own broken upbringing. Her memories aren’t recollected in a linear fashion, nor do they need to be. It is an exploration of the realities of how messy and restrictive motherhood can be – her desire to be different to her own absent mother, and the horrifying realisation that ‘[she] had failed to prepare [her] children for their future’.
Much as Esther wanted her father to ‘explain [her] mother’ to her as a child, in the future, it is her carer, Grace, who asks the same thing. This was the only point in the novel where it is unsatisfying – they became amicable over that conflict too quickly – but in a way maternal relationships are chaotic and sticky like that.
Read: Book review: The Honeyeaters, Jessie Tu
If You Go is ready to be a staple in the Australian speculative genre, one that is certainly no stranger to the intricacies of motherhood, and it unequivocally will not be the last.
If You Go, Alice Robinson
Publisher: Affirm Press
ISBN:9781923022836
Format: Paperback
Pages: 304pp
Release date: 25 June 2024
RRP: $34.99
