Cleaved is a vulnerable memoir by journalist and cartoonist Jane Cafarella. Despite its promising premise – to explore both the complex dynamic of a family split in two by divorce and Cafarella’s experience of Milroy’s disease – the book struggles to balance both narratives and give them the depth they require.
The family dynamic is the stronger of the narrative threads and Cafarella paints a vivid picture of her parents, particularly her mother, with whom she lived after the divorce. She investigates her powerlessness as a child, swept along by events out of her control, and through her investigation, regains her power and, slowly, a relationship with her sister.
Cafarella doesn’t sugar-coat her reality or lived experience, even when sugar-coating may have been the easier and more effective choice. Take, for example, one of Cafarella’s memories of her father, wherein he introduces her to their new house by using an ableist slur.
To use such language in a recently published book without indictment or reflection, even if it was spoken and recounted from decades earlier, only serves to further normalise it and perpetuate its harm. As a disabled reader hoping to find connection with Cafarella and her story, seeing a word that has long been used to ridicule the disability community, felt instead like a blow, creating a sense of alienation that clouded the rest of the memoir.
The use of the slur and lack of considerations of the impacts of its use dilutes the power of Cafarella’s attempt, later, to engage – briefly – with the ableism disabled people face every day. She writes, ‘I quickly learned that society expected something more of the disabled… They had to prove something in order to appear deserving.’
Interestingly, her use of “they” in the section above subtly reinforces her apparent disconnection from disability and the disability community. She follows this reflection with revelations of further internalised ableism, noting, ‘My mother taught me to ignore [her condition], so others would too and, by ignoring it, I avoided becoming a victim.’
This idea presumes that acknowledging one’s disability leads to victimhood, when, in fact, the opposite is true. Acknowledging disability is a gateway to disability pride and the powerful, interconnected glory of the disability community.
Read: Book review: The Crag, Claire Sutherland
Cleaved is a worthwhile read, despite not entirely living up to the potential of its premise. I just hope any disabled readers find their way to disability pride or, at the very least, a sense of self-acceptance that acknowledges rather than ignores disability.
Cleaved: A story of loss, legs and finding family, Jane Cafarella
Publisher: Northern Books
ISBN: 9781763508101
Format: Paperback
Pages: 302pp
Release date: 30 July 2024
RRP: $34.99
