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Recently, I started working with an accountability coach for all the things that don’t improve with age. In my case, that means diet and exercise. Also, I wanted to reestablish my meditation practice as the foundation of my schedule, instead of a ‘nice to have’ at the end of a long day, by which time I am inevitably exhausted.
Read: How to find a mentor – and make the most of it when you do
It got me thinking about the ways we show up for ourselves and the natural inclinations – and disinclinations – we all have when it comes to achieving our goals.
You may think that a professional writing coach wouldn’t need an accountability coach. Not so. Coaches come in all forms, for all kinds of pupils. As Bill Gates famously said, “Everyone needs a coach. We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
What is a coach?
A coach is someone who can help us get closer to achieving our dreams. They support and nurture our natural talents, or help us identify and address our weaknesses. They work alongside us when what we desire seems unattainable. They help us overcome specific limitations, articulate our motivation (or barriers to motivation), identify our blind spots and plan out strategies to succeed.
As a writing coach, I wear many different hats: creative writing coach, business writing coach, writing accountability coach and technical writing coach. My mentees come from all walks of life, and from all around the world. They are PhD students at varying stages of their candidature, new authors writing memoirs and business books, established authors working in various non-fiction genres, and creative writers working on short stories and novels.
I show up for mentees in ways that demonstrate I believe in them – in person, on Zoom, via texts, emails or phone calls. I’m showing them how they can show up for themselves. I help them set goals and review their work. I also dig into their ‘why’. Why are they writing? What message do they want to share? If they are struggling or feeling overwhelmed, I help them reset. There’s no guilt or shame. “Just begin again,” I say.
The power of consistency
Meeting writing deadlines is second nature to me. I trained as a daily newspaper journalist, from the age of 19. If I didn’t file my story by deadline, it would be old news by the next day. As every journalist knows, ‘time waits for no one, and neither does the front page’. Later, when I became a freelance journalist, meeting deadlines meant money in the door. As a seasoned colleague once said to me, “Each bill that arrives will be motivation enough to get off the couch and get writing.”
A lifetime of slavish devotion to deadlines and writing means I’m a natural fit as a writing coach. But I prioritise what I’m good at, and what I love, which leaves me weak in other areas. Good journalist, good coach, good mother. But when it comes to showing up for myself, not so much. As a professional coach, it’s humbling to admit it.
Perhaps if I had applied the same rigorous training and decades of daily practice to my exercise and meditation regime, I would not need accountability coaching now. But it’s never too late to start.
The process of change
My accountability coach has done for me what I aim to do for my writing coaching clients: provide structure, build in motivation and be someone to call on when the spirit is weak. She’s helping me build muscle in other areas, literally.
Within a week of working with her, my meditation practice was back on track. Within two weeks, I was habit-stacking exercise. To accommodate the extra habits, I’ve had to reorganise my day – I prioritise my positive habits, instead of routine chores or more pleasurable activities. The results speak for themselves. I sleep better, my mood and concentration is better, and I am more motivated to meditate and exercise again in the morning.
Coaching the writing coach
The experience of working with an accountability coach has reminded me that even coaches need a coach. And that change isn’t always about massive transformations – it’s often about small, intentional steps forward.
Setting and achieving goals requires different tools, for different situations and for different people. Instead of setting rigid deadlines and high bars, as I usually do in my working life, I’ve learned that I need to set small minimum non-negotiables when it comes to the things I struggle with. Instead of an hour of pristine meditation at 5am in the morning, I have small non-negotiables – 10 to 15 minutes in the morning and 10 to 15 minutes at night. I have similar small non-negotiable targets for exercise. I track, measure and report my progress, which builds momentum too.
This shift in perspective has been a game-changer. It’s taught me that when you are struggling with something, then consistency, not perfection, is the foundation of real change. These lessons extend beyond my personal practices – they’ve deepened my empathy and understanding as a coach, reminding me that the things we struggle with are deeply personal. Success too is unique and non-linear. When it comes to our greatest struggles, progress isn’t about ticking every box perfectly; it’s about showing up, again and again.
How can I work with a writing coach?
Working with a coach requires commitment and sympatico on both sides. Find someone you trust, and who gets you. Good coaches are curious about you, and vulnerable about themselves. A skilled coach asks insightful questions, challenges your assumptions and encourages you to go beyond self-imposed limits. They keep you focused, celebrate your wins and push you through doubt, fatigue or complacency.
How can a writing coach help me achieve my writing goals?
Whether you are mentor or mentee, the framework for hitting your writing goals is the same.
Here are the five steps I recommend for coaches and coachees:
- What’s your vision: Clarify what you’re working towards and why.
- Pull together a team: Who do you need to bring on board to help you achieve your goals?
- Strategise and plan: Map out the steps to achieve your goals.
- Track your success and stay accountable: Use apps and regular check-ins to track and report progress.
- Course correct and succeed: What changes do you need to make to keep you on the path to success?
Within this structure lies the power of coaching: you cannot do it alone. You need a vision, a team, a plan, an accountability partner and a measure or record of your success. Once you have the framework in place, you can use it for every goal, for the rest of your life.
A writing coach’s top 10 tips for winning with writing
Here are my top tips for smashing your writing goals, from the perspective of both a coach and a coachee.
- Set small, achievable daily goals
Set targets you can realistically achieve. - Increase your targets slowly over time
Slowly raise the bar to move towards your goal. Be real about what you can achieve in a day, a month, a year. - Plan for failure
Foresee where you may fail and have a strategy in place ahead of time. Give yourself days off where needed. Always start again. - Prioritise your goals
Restructure your day so that achieving your goals is the first thing you do. Reward yourself with fun or relaxing activities. - Know your why
Understand the deeper purpose behind your goals. - Seek expert advice
Bring in a technical coach or an accountability coach when needed. - Build a cheer squad
Tell people what you are doing and ask for their support. Children, partners and friends make great cheer squads. - Track your progress and report in
Use apps or journals to record and measure success. Report in regularly with an accountability coach or buddy, who understands the nature of your goals and your struggle, and can help you refocus or reset. - Build your inner motivation
Find inspiration in your success. Note how good it feels to be making small incremental advances towards your goal. Train yourself to be your own accountability coach over time. - Keep the big picture in mind
Stay focused on your ultimate goal. Recognise and reward your progress along the way.
Whether you’re leading or learning, a coach can make all the difference. Sometimes, even the coach needs a coach.
