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The pressure to stay in the game, juggle multiple projects and take on more work can weigh heavy on arts workers, writers, artists and performers alike.
We’re told ‘quitters are losers’, but what if we shook the stigma of giving up and began to appreciate how it can positively impact our work and mental health?
Amy Constable of St Gertrude’s Letterpress once received the affirming advice: ‘May you always know when to hang on and when to let go.’
Reframing how we think about giving up may help shake the stigma. ‘I think in some ways the stigma is semantic, and lies with the loaded word “quit” because we’re cool with the concept of letting go, moving on, saying no, getting out, evolving, or allowing something to run its course. They’re all just rationalised quitting mechanisms, really.’
In an industry notorious for over-working and over-achieving, getting comfortable with letting go and knowing when to give up and when to hold on is important armoury.
The upside of giving up
Letting go of stressful commitments, unfulfilling and time-wasting projects and dead-end ideas can protect us from burnout, especially if we learn to quit early and without guilt.
‘Burnout has in the past been a huge factor in many of these earlier severances. I suppose now I’m getting not so much “tougher” per se, but better at recognising which projects won’t be fulfilling in the long term, earlier on in the process. Which to kill before they get too advanced. It’s still a challenge though,’ said filmmaker, writer, and actor Ming-Zhu Hii.
Giving up is often a natural part of the creative process and an inevitable side-effect of having lots of ideas.
‘I used to have a chip on my shoulder about quitting and now when I think about my trail of abandoned projects I just think I have more ideas than time. Which is something to be proud of. Also sometimes quitting is about valuing yourself and knowing what is and isn’t worth your time,’ said writer Wendy Syfret.
‘The more experience I had I realised everyone has these littered projects around them, it’s just part of the creative process and finding out what works and is really interesting and worthwhile.’
Instead of viewing giving up as a weakness, more emphasis could be placed on how it can be courageous to let go and how doing so can be beneficial to your work.
It’s about being brave enough to change. ‘Letting go or giving up because something isn’t good enough or isn’t working out is not a weakness, it can be brave,’ explained Jade Lillie, Director, Footscray Community Arts Centre.
Sometimes staying is the easier option, stunting your ability to grow and develop. ‘I’m a big believer in ending something if it’s not working well. I think yes, absolutely you should start every project the way you want to finish it, and give it the best possible chance for success but things fail, things don’t work, partnerships breakdown, the creative process is flawed, there are so many variables and I think be brave enough to change it is a key motto that we all need to aspire to,’ added Lillie.
Sabotage or self-preservation?
Giving up on an idea, project or commitment can provide us with more time and space, refocus our attention, as well as help to avoid the traps perfectionism.
But there is a fine line between giving up on something because it’s a dead end, and giving up because it’s difficult. After all, we are all familiar with the feeling of almost getting to the end of a project and being hit with crushing self-doubt or a lack of energy.
How do you know if you should quit something or if you are sabotaging your chance at success?
Marketer Seth Godin and author of The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit explains that we shouldn’t be afraid of giving up on something, rather it’s about learning to quit the right stuff at the right time.
‘Never quit something with great long-term potential just because you can’t deal with the stress of the moment,’ writes Godin.
Godin describes the period of difficulty as a ‘dip’ on the way to success, which differs from when you are settling for mediocrity or in a ‘Cul-de-Sacs’. The idea is that the dip eventually gets better, whereas if you are in a Cul-de-Sac the idea, project or situation never improves regardless of how much time and energy is invested.
As researcher and creative Georgia-Lee Hoe describes it, sometimes it’s too late to ‘unscramble the egg.’
‘For me, quitting was essential but it was hard to admit that it was the best course of action. Eventually I came to understand that sometimes you can’t “unscramble the egg” and that I was better off cutting my losses.’
Pre-planning or setting up ‘quitting’ structures can minimise the risk of giving up out of sabotage. Before beginning a project, set parameters and conditions for when it is okay to give up.
Godin draws on the example of marathoner Dick Collins who decides before a race the conditions that will cause him to stop and drop out so that he can guard himself against making the wrong decision on a whim.
Similarly, put in some thought before starting a project and develop your own criteria for what makes something worthwhile. For visual artist and author Tai Snaith, meaningfulness is important.
‘Something might be fun and good for your career, but for me particularly since having kids, I’m trying to find a bit more meaning in what I am doing as well.’
The giving up litmus test
Understanding if giving up is sabotage or self-preservation comes down to paying attention to how you feel and whether you experience a sense of relief or anguish.
‘My litmus test is the relief I’ll feel. If I imagine quitting but feel anxiety and regret around the idea, then it’s worth staying the path a little longer. If the idea of quitting brings me nothing but relief and the potential to unknit the masses of knots in my shoulders then I don’t hesitate to send it lovingly to the fire,’ said Ming-Zhy Hii.
When hit with a case of the ‘why-bothers’, writer Tracey Sorensen had a similar litmus test. ‘In the end it was more miserable to quit than to keep writing. So I have become a Finishing Machine. All the rest of it – being read, being published – I can’t control. But I can finish.’
